It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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