I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
