How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
