Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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