we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
