I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
