Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
