I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
