Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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