You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
