Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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