i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
