i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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