HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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