just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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