maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
