Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
