Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
