I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
