Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
