I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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