You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
