He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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