I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
