And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Randomize