just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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