Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
