You're completely useless in the revolution.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize