The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
