why didn't you poke me back
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
