Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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