I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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