went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We got so high we made milksteak
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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