we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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