Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
