he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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