I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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