i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
