Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize