So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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