some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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