There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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