It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
