One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
