if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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