But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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