Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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