Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
