Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
