Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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