Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize