do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
