omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize