You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
