PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
