Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
