I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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