You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
