If i come over, it means nothing
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
