About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
